Jonathan Evatt Online

I am well aware that for many --- myself included at various times --- becoming aware of the factuality of the Dream can result in pulling back from life, from the world, from relationship, and from ones physical circumstances. In my experience, the degree to which this happens is Indicative of the degree to which recognition of the Dream nature of life is taking place only at the intellectual level.

To recognise something like this at the intellectual level will result in new beliefs being set-up within the ego-mind. These beliefs may then contradict the other pre-existing beliefs about life and self --- resulting in an internal conflict and experience of separation within. This is neither good nor bad. I would say that for many waking up to Reality, this is a necessary stage in the apparent process. It is important, however, to be mindful of when then is happening and how exactly it is playing out. To dwell excessively or unconsciously in this place of internal conflict will generally result in pain and pulling back from the world. Yet the "world" as I experience is is my creation.

To pull back from what I have created is to deny who and what I Am. To deny that is to again be stuck in a place of illusion and separation. To deny who and what I Am I must first believe and experience myself to be separate from that which I Am --- for this provides the necessary sense of perspective with which I can then tell a story of separation. Just as God does not deny Its creation --- despite the fact that this creation believes itself to be caught up in a Dream as something real and apart from God --- we must not deny our creation. Hence waking up tot he dream --- when integrated and done with awareness --- will result not in pulling back from engaging with life but rather with stepping up to the mark and running the race (the Human Race) with full power and self-application. For in truth we are only engaging with ourselves.

Now, I say all this with a slight sense of hypocrisy, for I am aware that at times I still find myself pulling back from the world I have created. I feel the pain of that pulling back. I find it painful because it results in me separating from the truth and love within myself. Once this love has been tasted experiencing the apparent absence of this love feels like living out on the city streets on a dull, cold, winters day compared to being out on a beautiful beach in the tropics during warm blue summers day. If all I know is a state that is devoid of true love and connection with God and Self then relatively speaking it feels okay. Yet in contrast to the profundity of deep love, oneness and connection with all things --- words fail to describe the comparison.

What I'd like to suggest is that if you find yourself feeling disparate or separated internally then please pause and take a close look at whether or not you are pulling back from some aspect of your world. I am not suggesting that you must simply put up with these aspects of your world, but rather that in engaging with them you will engage with an element of your story that perhaps no longer serves you except to being your attention to this fact. Once engaged with this emotions and thoughts will most certainly arise. Once these are accepted then certain deep feelings and knowings will come to your attention.

These feelings and knowings will lead you through and out.

The only way out is through.

The only way through is to be true.

The only way to be true is to love and accept you.

The only way to love and accept you is to engage with your story.

The only way to engage with your story and not get caught up in it is through forgiveness.

The only way to forgive is to meditate upon and deeply realise that whatever you perceive "out there" never happened.

You are as God created you.

Right now.