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Spiritual cynicism in hiding, or a greater "reality"?
Recently I moved into a friends house in a small "community" setting. Many of the people around are "spiritual inclined" in their approach to life.
I have noticed over the last few weeks that there is some sort of quality the people have here which somehow does not ring true for me. Not that it is even a question of it being "true" for me or not, because I have in fact been exploring their comments and perspective on things to determine what is real within it all. It is through this quiet investigation that I end up feeling a certain degree of people somehow having become cynical and having digressed into an inner emphasis on viewing life as purely fatalistic.
The fatalistic perspective is fundamentally that we have no choice... not at any level of our Being and not at any time. Of course this is the exact antitheses of that perspective which says we are "beings of free will".
I do feel there is a "level" from which creation truly is fatalistic, but there are other "levels" too. Each is valid, and each creates a particular quality of experience and awareness when I dwell in them for a while. "God" has the ability-to-respond, to be actively and responsively aware. It is this Awareness and the power to live and embody this awareness that makes the human experience so incredible. I could, of course, by entirely incorrect or limited in my view on all this - but I do seem to find that these people who are trying to cultivate a fatalistic view on life are not particularly happy at some level inside and are ultimately still "looking" for answers, but perhaps no longer "Seeking". Some are still actively seeking... although this seems odd because it implies they are making a choice to do so.
Then again, am I in fact deeply happy? I could never really know, as I have nothing to compare that deep inner state with, and all such things are relative and hence only come to light through the mirroring or comparison that arises through relation-ship.
In my experience, the people I have met who have to some degree intellectually integrated this fatalistic view on Creation seem to all have a certain degree of "stuck-ness" about them, or a degree of spiritual apathy. Yet they will try to maintain that this perspective is the highest and that most people can't accept it because it destroys their sense of individual self which most people don't wish to dispense with. They bring forth, at times in very eloquent ways, the argument that if I don't agree with them it is only because I am attached to having a sense of control, choice and personal decision in my life. Yet somehow, I know exactly what they mean. It is not something I resist... I feel as though I too have been to this place or perspective within my consciousness at different times and can often access it at will (whoops!! more choice).
I feel as though I comprehend fully what they are saying but that for me it is somehow only another part of a much grander picture. It is, however, at this point that I get stuck and have not the words to explain to them the way it is for me and the way their perspective fits into the bigger scheme of things. I end up just having to sit back and listen for the words do not become me.
Yes, we have absolutely no choice, about anything at all. Yes, it is all just GOD playing out as GOD and we have no degree of decision or free choice in that. Yes, this is true (in my experience) from a particular point of consciousness. But it is only that... A particular point of consciousness, a particular perspective - and to reside in that particular perspective will bring the person a particular quality of life and experience. If that is what they ultimately want for themselves then that is great. They have found it. Yet if it is something else they want, something "bigger", something even more "whole" then, in my experience, they do in fact need to move right through that place and pop out the other side into something that is even more profound and subtle and beautiful - a Universe were we simultaneously have NO CHOICE and TOTAL CHOICE within our role as co-creators of Life.
That is really all I can say for now. I can't imagine that any of this makes much sense, though I have at least tried to explain something quite ineffable, quite wonderful, and quite unexplainable - at least for now.
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